my other half

He is my constant reminder that God has great things planned for me,
good gifts to bless me with.

my husband makes my life happier.

sometimes I feel like we get caught up in a world that likes to complain about our spouse. what could they do better, what they are not doing?

are we asking ourselves those same questions for our sig other? or just about them?

communication.  E S S E N T I A L.

when we are rolling we work like an awesome team.

wrangling toddlers, laundry, cleaning...sometimes even painting! (happy mother's day to me :)

it's not perfect, it's relationship. it takes work (sometimes)
he works hard.
he loves our girls.
he cares about me in addition to loving me.
he is my home, no matter where we live.

he is always perfect for me.

Refreshed

You go through phases in life.
Some you feel energized and motivated
Some you feel tired and exhausted and stuck in a dead end.

I was in number 2 for a while. What could I attribute this to?
toddlers, long winter, busy husband...the list could go on and on and on.....

I finally decided that everyone in my life would be happier, if I were happier.
That meant I needed NEEDED to find a place in my -no time for anything- life, for me, that was just for me!

Looking at my life I thought, I am blessed! I should be happier now than I have ever been.
How do I make the should into am?

There will always be ups and downs through all we go through. and since even starting this draft I have been up & down, but that's life.

For the next 30 days I'm going to blog about things that make me happy!

Here we go!

How waking up early, reading, Jillian Micheals, and YNAB...and lots of other things make me happy...

the burden of criticism.
it penetrates so deeply.
is so hurtful.

To Whom It May Concern:
Instead of judging so harshly the decisions I make,
Would it not be better and more encouraging for all involved to take a different route?

Sometimes I need to hear. (or at least would like to hear). Because I believe I had something to do with this.

"Wow, your kids are amazing, and smart, and healthy, and so loved."

"You must be such a great mom! What a great job you are doing with your kids!"

making judgement from outside my heart and head, the tough decisions that I make for the best of me. that includes what is best for my family.

Tell me I'm doing a good job.
Build me up.
Don't break me down.

folly

Proverbs 14

29

He who is slow to anger has great understanding,

But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.

30

A tranquil heart is life to the body,

But passion is rottenness to the bones.

void

I seek you
I find light
then there is void
I put my faith in you
I feel your presence
then nothings.
Why do you come and then leave my heart aching?
Sometimes as the saying goes. "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
But I wonder how true this is?
If you have never loved, you have only imagined love
If you have truly experienced love-and then lost it. THAT is soul crushing
We may be lonely if we have not loved.
But at least we are not crushed.
But I can only speak of a heart that has loved
that has loved deeply. what void would I feel is worse?
the void of love.
or
the void of lost love.
which crushes our spirits more?
God I seek of you THIS answer.
I know that I have not lost love deeply
for I can only morbidly imagine the blow to my being that would be.
but any love that is present, then gone-leaves longing
is this all you want from us?
to be longing for love?
that is our existence
that is all we crave
all we truly need
love.
do not withhold your love any longer
do not allow us to suffer in this place. any longer!
why must we battle a fight that is already won?
If it is won, why must we continue to put on our armor to lift up our shield and sword?
Are we not invincible because of YOUR sacrifice?
Remove us from this evil place. Our evil souls
and bring us to a place where we can finally experience TRUE, UNENDING, LOVE.

Why do I suffer over choice- to come to an answer, that is the one I cannot have?
With so much evil and deceit how do we separate from our evil selves and hear only your sweet voice?
I seek you with little patience. forgive me
I long for blessings upon blessings. forgive me
I yearn to get ahead, yet you call us to be last. forgive me.
I ask for what I feel I deserve but you do not deliver that. thank you. and forgive me.
Let you will be done and your kingdom come

analysis

we battle through this life-
we try to be IN this world & not OF it
we know this is not our eternity, yet we're here, for God knows (respectfully) how long. 

so we stumble in the darkness searching for some light.
sometimes I feel like God doesn't answer- He just teaches

Seek Him only and all else will fall into place.

Surrender to His will & your desires will be fulfilled. 

6Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, 7casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. 10After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. 11To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen. [1 Peter 5:6-11]

Wow this is good for today! 
Teach me. Amen. 

Half full

While at work today I read this...
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Winston Churchill